Madhouse Beyond - Articles

Too long for blog posts, too short for their own website, these are the 'articles'. Mostly here for historical reasons, they were the lifeblood of Madhouse Beyond back before blogging and dynamic content and all that fancy stuff became cool. Enjoy if possible.

• Amusing Phrases in Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire
  Sunday, 24th August 2003
  The most amusing new feature in the new Pokemon games allow the player to enter sentences and words in response to certain events which are usually displayed elsewhere. Ash looks into how you can make the game a lot funnier using this feature.
  
  
• Ash's Guide to Astro Barrier
  Thursday, 5th July 2007
  Astro Barrier is, hands down, the coolest thing about Club Penguin. I'm a high score freak, so I thought I'd share a bit of my wisdom in order to help others.
  
  
• Battle of the Rock Lords
  Saturday, 11th August 2001
  Makes rock collecting look cool
  
  
• Big Loader
  Sunday, 30th March 2003
  It's clear that Lego is the coolest toy of all time, there is no debate. But as more and more cool toys keep coming out and I think to myself how deprived I was as a kid (!) there is one toy from long ago that stands head and shoulders above anything they can come up with today. It is Big Loader.
  
  
• Braindead
  Monday, 26th August 2002
  Peter Jackson, director of the Lord of the Rings movie. Such a work of art can only be preceeded by... THE SICKEST AND MOST HILARIOUS GORE-FEST MOVIE YOU'LL EVER SEE!
  
  
• Brio Wooden Railway Tracks
  Saturday, 15th June 2002
  You can't go in an Early Learning Centre without seeing one of these things. They were completely customisable, and you could buy them in bits or full sets. The toy that enchanted a lot of children (including me when I was about 5) now ends up on this barmy website. How times change...
  
  
• Calpol
  Sunday, 22nd February 2004
  It's purple. It tastes nice. It makes you better. How can it be bad?
  
  
• Doom
  Wednesday, 18th December 2002
  Doom, my all time favourite video game, gets the Homage treatment! Let's get fragging...
  
  
• Frank Welker
  Saturday, 18th August 2001
  The greatest contributor to animation voice acting in the west since Mel Blanc
  
  
• Fun With Bandwidth Thieves
  Sunday, 8th February 2004
  A humourous guide to protecting your website's bandwidth and having a bit of fun with those who would steal it.
  
  
• Godzilla
  Saturday, 11th August 2001
  Japanese bloke in rubber suit alert!
  
  
• Green Jellÿ
  Friday, 15th February 2002
  Green Jellÿ Sucks! But in a good way...
  
  
• Gremlins
  Thursday, 18th March 2004
  Strange little creatures that annoy grouchy old women and hold their own parties in public bars. Need I say more?!
  
  
• Incredible Facts About Wickham
  Friday, 25th November 2005
  There is a place in Hampshire known as Wickham. It is a very special and unique place to visit, and we're here to explain why.
  
  
• Inspector Gadget
  Saturday, 11th August 2001
  A dodgy-looking bloke in a trenchcoat, dumb henchmen and Frank Welker
  
  
• Interceptor
  Monday, 1st April 2002
  The most fun you can have with a Scottish bloke in a trenchcoat, a laser, some really clueless contestants, £1000 and an ex-tennis player
  
  
• Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors
  Sunday, 22nd February 2004
  A wizard, an annoying robot, a girl who appears to be stoned, Han Solo's twin brother and a young lad who seems to be going grey prematurely trying to destroy a gang of evil plants. No, it's not a really bad trip, it's Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors.
  
  
• Killer Instinct
  Saturday, 7th February 2004
  The video game that introduced 80-hit combos and then disappeared off the face of the planet.
  
  
• Knightmare
  Friday, 3rd December 2004
  Spellcasting! H O M A G E!
  
  
• Mel Blanc
  Sunday, 13th July 2003
  Mel Blanc - The Man of 1000 Voices, and the man who practically invented voice acting as a serious profession, given the long overdue Homage treatment
  
  
• Monopoly
  Sunday, 6th October 2002
  Along with Uno, this is one of my favourite games for breaking up friends and families. Or it is if you play it the way we do.
  
  
• Mortal Kombat
  Saturday, 11th August 2001
  Street Fighter + blood = Controversy!
  
  
• Mortal Kombat Annihilation
  Sunday, 6th April 2003
  There are some bad video game movies, and there are some terrible video game movies. Mortal Kombat Annihilation is one of the worst - but we love it. Discover why...
  
  
• Orange Flavoured Ice Cream
  Saturday, 11th August 2001
  A rare treat that nobody but a chosen few appreciate
  
  
• Punch and Judy
  Sunday, 3rd August 2003
  That's the way to do it!
  
  
• Quasar
  Thursday, 2nd May 2002
  Running around in a large darkened smoke-filled arena with a laser gun. Can you have much more fun in a darkened room? Er, well...
  
  
• Resident Evil
  Monday, 29th July 2002
  At long last, the movie version of the video game formerly known as Biohazard makes it to UK cinemas. How does it compare to its video game ancestor?
  
  
• Rubik's Puzzles
  Saturday, 11th August 2001
  Ever wondered why I've got no hair left?
  
  
• Short Circuit
  Saturday, 19th June 2004
  The movie that made robots cool again! This robot can't cook or maintain a household, but it's good with pets and abusive ex-boyfriends.
  
  
• Snatcher
  Sunday, 17th March 2002
  Many will know of Hideo Kojima, creator of Metal Gear Solid, but not as many will be familiar with his earlier work, particularly in the west. Snatcher is quite possibly my favourite RPG of all time, and it was only ever available in English on the good old Sega Mega-CD.
  
  
• Soundwave MP3 Player
  Tuesday, 7th August 2007
  It's a Transformer. It's an MP3 player. It's possibly the geekiest thing I own.
  
  
• Space Channel 5
  Saturday, 18th October 2003
  It's cheesy, it's silly, but hey - it's a very alternative Japanese video game that by some miracle managed to get a UK release!
  
  
• Sweep
  Sunday, 11th November 2001
  He's funny, he's talented, and what's more - he's Superdog!
  
  
• The Crystal Maze
  Wednesday, 7th November 2001
  The original 'vent your rage on a TV show' show
  
  
• The Goonies
  Sunday, 12th October 2003
  Pirates! Yarr!
  
  
• The Guyver - Mutronics
  Saturday, 18th October 2003
  Not only did Yoshiki Takaya's manga get turned into one of the worst anime OAV series of all time, it also got turned into two american live-action movies, which are so crap they're funny. Here is the first (and by far the funniest) one reviewed!
  
  
• The Land of Nightmares
  Saturday, 9th March 2002
  The only reason anyone ever watched The Dreamstone
  
  
• The Legendary Teletubby Man
  Wednesday, 4th December 2002
  We've all seen buskers. There are good ones, there are bad ones, there are ones you feel like offering to pay them if they shut up. However, one remains the undisputed king of them all.
  
  
• The Mysterious Cities of Gold
  Monday, 17th June 2002
  Retro-anime flashback alert! I'm sure more of us than just me remembers this classic TV series
  
  
• The Nintendo Gameboy
  Tuesday, 2nd October 2001
  You're never bored if you've got one of these things with you
  
  
• The Sega Megadrive
  Saturday, 16th March 2002
  The console that revolutionised gaming (for me, anyway)
  
  
• The Sinclair ZX Spectrum
  Saturday, 11th August 2001
  The greatest personal computer of all time
  
  
• The Trap Door
  Sunday, 4th January 2004
  The most fun you can have with a large blue fat thing called 'Berk'.
  
  
• Thundercats
  Saturday, 11th August 2001
  The show that brought us the great Mumm-Ra
  
  
• Tomoyo no Video Daisakusen
  Sunday, 28th August 2005
  Described by many as one of the most pointless video games of all time, but it's just so darn cute! Just how good is it really?
  
  
• Totally Inappropriate Greetings Cards
  Sunday, 21st September 2003
  Ever wonder what the greetings cards companies will come up with next? Well, we're pretty sure even card companies won't stoop this low.
  
  
• Transformers
  Monday, 1st April 2002
  Without a doubt, the coolest thing about the 80s
  
  
• Tremors
  Sunday, 13th October 2002
  50s-style monster movies ahoy! Possibly the best tounge-in-cheek horror comedy ever made.
  
  
• Unicron
  Monday, 15th December 2003
  This year an historic event took place - a Unicron toy was finally released on the mass market. 17 years after his debut in the 1986 Transformers movie, we finally get to play with the big guy. Was he worth the wait?
  
  
• Uno
  Saturday, 11th August 2001
  The game responsible for the most family break-ups since Monopoly
  
  
• Van Helsing
  Thursday, 27th May 2004
  Vampires, werewolves, mutants and Kate Beckinsale. Can this movie get any better?
  
  
• Watership Down
  Wednesday, 4th December 2002
  The animated movie based on the classic book by Richard Adams. Often mistaken for a childrens' film, it's a disturbing tale of a group of rebellious rabbits that covers politics, religion and life and death.