Ash has seen this movie.
Brian Cohen is an average young Jewish man, but through a series of ridiculous events, he gains a reputation as the Messiah. When he's not dodging his followers or being scolded by his shrill mother, the hapless Brian has to contend with the pompous Pontius Pilate and acronym-obsessed members of a separatist movement. Rife with Monty Python's signature absurdity, the tale finds Brian's life paralleling Biblical lore, albeit with many more laughs.
| Wise Man #2 / Brian Cohen / Biggus Dickus | Graham Chapman |
| Wise Man #1 / Reg / Jewish Official / First Centurion / Deadly Dirk / Arthur | John Cleese |
| Man Even Further Forward / Revolutionary / Jailer / Blood and Thunder Prophet / Frank / Audience Member / Crucifee | Terry Gilliam |
| Mr. Cheeky / Stan 'Loretta' / Harry the Haggler / Culprit Woman / Warris / Intensely Dull Youth / Jailer's Assistant / Otto / Lead Singer Crucifee | Eric Idle |
| Mandy Cohen / Colin / Simon the Holy Man / Bob Hoskins / Saintly Passer-by / Alarmed Crucifixion Assistant | Terry Jones |
| Wise Man #3 / Mr. Big Nose / Francis / Mrs. A / Ex-Leper / Announcer / Ben / Pontius Pilate / Boring Prophet / Eddie / Shoe Follower / Nisus Wettus | Michael Palin |
| Gregory | Terence Bayler |
| Mrs. Gregory | Carol Cleveland |
| Jesus | Kenneth Colley |
| A Weedy Samaritan | Neil Innes |
| False Prophet / Blind Man / Giggling Guard / Stig | Charles McKeown |
| Matthias, Son of Deuteronomy of Gath | John Young |
| Mrs. Big Nose | Gwen Taylor |
| Judith Iscariot | Sue Jones-Davies |
| Peter Brett | |
| Pilate's Wife | John Case |
| Alfonso / Giggling Guard | Chris Langham |
| Another Official Stoners Helper / Giggling Guard | Andrew MacLachlan |
| Parvus / Official Stoners Helper / Giggling Guard | Bernard McKenna |
| Spike | Spike Milligan |
| Mr. Papadopolous (uncredited) | George Harrison |
| Passer-by (uncredited) | Charles Knode |
