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Freddie Mercury composed Bohemian Rhapsody while staying with some friends in Wickham
The noise made by sheep in Wickham is "moo"
The planting of turnips in Wickham is a crime punishable by death
Wickham sinks one inch every seven and a half years
In Wickham, Ribena is listed as a class A narcotic.
Every Wickham resident is issued with a Sinclair C5 at birth
There is one phone line going in and out of Wickham, so only one person can be on the phone to a neighbouring town at any one time
Wickham residents believe that the ability to tapdance is hereditory
The most heinous crime in Wickham's history was in 1946 when a local teenager wrote the word "fridge" in chalk on the side of a barn.
The popular 80's TV series "Trap Door" was filmed entirely on location in Wickham
Disappearing ink was invented (accidentally) in Wickham.
Wickham's football team once won the world cup, beating Argentina in the final on penalties. The team consisted of three men and a goat.
No insects have been sighted in Wickham for over fifty years.
The highest mountain in Wickham is only six and a half inches shorter than Everest. It's almost completely underground.
Wickham's national anthem is "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
10% of Wickham's rodent population are invisible.
Certain scientific studies have suggested that time actually runs one second per year slower in Wickham than it does elsewhere. One theory suggests that the universe's smallest black hole must be nearby, but nobody has ever found it.
Due to a typing error, local byelaws forbid the posession or use of rugs.
Computer technology is scarce in Wickham, with the exception of one Commodore 64 in the town hall (nicknamed "Hal" by the locals). This can be booked in hour-long slots by any Wickham resident, and is currently booked out until May 2038 due to the unexpected discovery of a copy of Fantasy World Dizzy.
The dodo population of Wickham outnumbers the cat population of the UK
Wickham used to be on the Isle of Wight, but the entire town was moved to the mainland in 3 BCE as a good will gesture by the Romans.
The Queen Mother was built in Wickham in 1900 and refused to go anywhere else for routine maintainance
The entire crew of the Mary Celeste all live in Wickham under false identities
Wickham on average is hit by four hurricanes per year.
The tallest building in Wickham is almost completely underground.
Wickham University has it's own qualification: the QSc
Wickham is the home of the only surviving kangaroo farm in the British isles.
Wickham is the only place in the northern hemisphere where water goes down the plughole clockwise
A creature resembling Bigfoot has been sighted in the woods around Wickham at least five times in the past decade. The police refuse to investigate, insisting that it's probably just one of the locals who got lost on the way home from the pub.
A prehistoric monster is rumored to live in the duck pond.
Wickham has its own TV channel. Shows include "Extreme Tractors", "Jeremy the Sex Pest" and "That's My Pig".
Elvis Presley is alive and living in Wickham
Wickham has two active volcanos. Luckily they have not errupted for around four hundred years.
Wickham has been voted "Nation most likely to take over the world" for twelve years running
Watership Down was originally based in Wickham
Microwave ovens are illegal in Wickham
Despite continual denials, Nik Kershaw's surreal 1984 top-five hit "The Riddle" is actually about Wickham.
Wickham has it's own public holiday, during which the residents form a naked conga line and dance to a nearby town chosen at random.
Television cameras are illegal in Wickham unless operated by a member of the clergy.
There is a small cave in Wickham known as 'Wickham Nook'. Nobody has ever come out of it alive.
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