1st May 2026
Why are elephants always broke? They work for peanuts.
How do you fit four elephants in a car? Two in the front, two in the back.
How do you fit four hippos in a car? Take the elephants out first.
What goes down but never goes up? An elephant in a lift.
What do elephants have that no other animals have? Baby elephants.
How do you raise a baby elephant? Use a crane.
What wears glass slippers and weighs over 5 tonnes? Cinderelephant.
Why are elephants terrible dancers? They have two left feet.
How do you tell if there's an elephant at your door? There's a car outside with three elephants in it.
How do you stop an elephant charging? Unplug it.
What sound do you get when you drop an elephant down a mineshaft? A-flat minor.
What sound do you get when you drop an elephant into an army camp?
A-flat major.
Why do elephants wear yellow shoes? So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
Why don’t elephants use computers? They're scared of the mouse.
Have you ever seen an elephant in your custard? Works, doesn't it?
What is the elephant’s favorite sport? Squash.
What do elephants use as tampons? Sheep.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole? Lost.
Why do elephants have big ears? Noddy won't pay the ransom.
Why do elephants have long trunks? Sheep don't have strings.
What do you get if you take an elephant into the city? Free parking.
Why are elephants so wrinkled? Have you ever tried to iron one?
What do you give a seasick elephant? Plenty of space.
